Dear Al,
I had a talk with Treebeard today. He’s usually not too hasty to act, but he’s pretty pissed about the Toomer’s trees being poisoned. Tell Crimson and Bear (his two children) to hide. Your face is about to look like the aftermath of the attack on Isengard.
Hoping your ass gets kicked,
Kyle
P.S. I blame no other Alabama fan in this incident. War Eagle and stay classy Auburn.
Has become me watching My Life as Liz. Sad times. I think I’m doing Tumblr wrong. This is something that should on Twitter. Eh, screw it.
If you really want to piss off your parents, show interest in the arts…or buy real estate in imaginary places.
Remember when I did part 1 last year and didn’t follow through on part 2? Of course you don’t. I only have 6 followers and a few posts. But still I’m going to do part 2. Shit, I may even do a part 3. Don’t get to excited though, I’m pretty lazy and will probably only do part 2. Go Christmas!
After a recent trip to Six Flags, I became aware of something. This park that should be full of fun and happiness contains the three most loathsome creatures ever to defile this planet. If you’re unfortunate enough to one day enter the depths of Hell, let me tell you what you have to look forward.
First, you will come across children wondering aimlessly. These children will not have parents, and will do everything fathomable to keep you from moving ahead. They will possibly stop directly in front of you, run into you from various angles, or possibly even bite you. You will be tempted to hit these children, but you won’t because they are children (even if they are Hell children)
After you finally manage your way through the seas of vexatious youth, you will come across their parents. These parents will not do anything directly to you to anger you. However, their neglect that has already caused you so much pain will send you into fits of rage. Once again you will be tempted to beat someone, but you won’t since their kids are close by. (Note: It’s actually possibly the forces of Hell that won’t allow you to hit the children or their parents. More research is needed)
As your quaint little stroll through Hell concludes, you will be faced against the greatest monsters of all, the people who win basketballs. They will dribble the basketballs around endlessly as you think to yourself, “What is it about making a free throw that give people the right to think they’re Allen Iverson?” This time you will be allowed to attack your wicked adversaries. Unfortunately, the majority of them are 6’3 220lb African American males. So, have fun with that.
In conclusion, teach your kids manners, keep them on a leash, and don’t act like a damn fool if you win a basketball.
So, I went to see this therapist. He told me to do the best that I can do…I was hoping…for something more specific.
I believe so. My name’s Kyle Coby. I think we went to high school together or something.
Please watch this video. It is one of the greatest things I have ever seen.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: A man walks into a bar and leaves before his ashes hit the floor. Stop me if I ever get that far. The sun’s a desperate star that burns like every single one before.
75% of Snuggie sales go directly towards funding Al Qaeda, and I’m sure the other 25% goes to Disney’s maintenance of their Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez robots . If you buy a Snuggie, you are a terrorist. If you feel the need to warm you body while keeping your arms in a position to move, wear a robe backwards. An AMERICAN robe, that is. 4 more years of Bush and God bless America.
